Rest in the Wilderness

Mark 6:31 “And he said unto them, Come ye yourselves apart into a desert place, and rest a while....” 

Today makes six months since my son Buddy had the heart attack, which ultimately led to his death three days later. I’m perfectly aware there’s a “Buddy-sized” hole in my heart, which will never heal. However, I thought surely after six months, I’d have reached a point where I could function. But it hasn’t worked that way. Although I seem to be doing better emotionally, my body isn’t, and I’ve been sick for almost four months. I’ve finally had to make an appointment with a pulmonologist to find out what’s going on. 

After several months of neglect, I have more things on my plate than I could possibly do, more concerns and worries than anyone could guess, and a broken heart about a situation beyond my control. Now I am facing an “enforced Sabbath” of at least several weeks because my lungs won’t cooperate. None of that has made me a happy camper because I hate having my activities limited, don’t you?

I especially hate it when I have so much to do and when sorrow or fear over what I cannot change or control is consuming me. My usual response to fear is to stay so busy I can’t dwell on it. Rest? It’s not high on my list of preferred activities. And this wasn’t exactly the kind of rest I would choose even if I did want a break: a vacation in the desert, the barren place of testing? No, thank you. Those barren places are what you want to get away from at the very first opportunity! Yet that’s where I found myself when I opened my Bible and read Mark 6:31. 

The disciples had been busy about doing what the Lord had given them to do, and when they were reporting back to Him, His absolute direction was to tell them they were to “come apart into a desert place, and rest a while.” But, Lord, don’t You see the work is not yet done? Don’t You know there are people I love in a far country and others I love who need me right now? You’ve said Yourself there isn’t even time for me to eat. How can I rest in this place of hardship, this place of desperate sorrow…this desert place? 

However, the disciples obeyed and when they did, Jesus took the pitiful things they had, five loaves and two little fishes, and performed a miracle as only He can do. And He did it in the barren place to which He had called them. We can take heart from this, weary Christian. What feels like chastisement or abandonment in the wilderness may really be an invitation to rest in the Savior. 

Mark tells us that Jesus was moved with compassion, and I’m sure some of that same compassion extended to his disciples and to you and me. Oh, that we could trust Jesus in the desert place as well as in the land that flows with milk and honey! Oh, that we could take Him at His word! I don’t do it perfectly, but I’m learning. Among other things I’ve learned in these months since I lost my son, I’m learning God can give me rest even in the wilderness of my greatest loss and can then take the little I have and use it to do something wonderful. 

Challenge for Today: What might happen if we, just for today, chose to trust God in our wilderness and learned to rest in Him?

Standing in the storm: Is it an exercise of the spirit or an exercise of the will? #tostand, #measureofaman, #RitaMoritz,

John 6:67 “Will ye also go away?”

 “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” Martin Luther King Jr.

 In the beginning, great multitudes followed Jesus, willingly going from one place to another. And why not? He spoke eloquently to them, He healed their sick and lame, and He spoke with authority. However, it wasn’t any of those things that attracted the people to Him. What caused them to follow Jesus from Tiberias to Capernaum was that He fed them. (John 6:26) It was easy, and it was comfortable.

 Then Jesus began to tell them “the rest of the story.” Following Him wasn’t going to be an easy road of free food and comfort. Following Him was going to mean sacrifice and hardship and a heart determined to live for Him and trust Him regardless of what happened in their life. It was going to mean looking to Him and seeing He was more than the son of Mary and Joseph. He was going to be everything, or He was going to be nothing.

 Faced with that truth, “many of his disciples went back and walked with him no more.” (John 6:66) Like some of our own “fair weather friends,” they walked away when it stopped being convenient or comfortable. Then Jesus looked at His twelve disciples and asked, “Will you also go away?” (John 6:67)

 No one ever said our road was going to be easy. In fact, the Scriptures say exactly the opposite. The book of Job tells us “man’s days are short and full of trouble.” (Job 14:1) And Job spoke with authority since he had lost everything…his wealth, his children, and his health. His wife finally told him he should just “curse God and die” and asked him why he retained his integrity. Job answered her by asking whether they should expect only good things to happen. (Job 2:9-10)

 The question isn’t whether heartbreaking things are going to happen. They are. The question is how will I react when they do? How will you? Will we go away as many of Christ’s disciples did, or will we stay the course? Will we blame God and say how unfair our circumstances are, or will we retain our integrity? Those questions have taken on a whole new meaning since my son Buddy died on December 22, 2016.

 At some point, I can guarantee you too will be faced with those very choices, and it takes determination to do what’s right when your world is falling apart. However, we need more than determination when the worst things happen. We need the love and support of family and friends, we need prayer, and we need the power of God to do for us and in us what we can’t do in our own power.

 Drawing that line, making that promise, standing steadfast isn’t easy. But it’s the only way, when trouble comes, we will still be standing in our integrity. Combining God’s power with an exercise of our will in refusing to quit will make it possible to “withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.” (Ephesians 6:13)

 Challenge for Today: What might happen if we, just for today, determined in our hearts and asked God’s strength to keep on keeping on?
  

AH, The Conundrum:

Read a book. Take a nap.
vs.
Take a nap. Read a book.

Maybe BOTH?

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So You Love a Prodigal -
What you Can't Do, What You Can Do, Why You Can't Quit

Where are the prodigals we love, and when will they come home?
     Too many of us know the pain and despair of loving a prodigal. In So You Love a Prodigal, author and poet Rita Aiken Moritz meets the readers where they are in their brokenness and walks with them through the heartbreak of loving a prodigal. With a conversational approach, she dares to address questions such as, “Why my family?” and “Who’s to blame?”
     Encouragement, hope, and a call to action are the central themes of So You Love a Prodigal. Readers are assured with simple words and Biblical examples that God is still in control, their story isn’t finished, and they are not alone.
     Also in a Kindle Edition!
- - - - -
     This Workbook is intended to supplement the So You Love a Prodigal book. By reading the corresponding chapter in the book before answering the questions in the Workbook, you will better understand the questions and will be able to apply them to your own situation.
     All the Workbook questions are “open ended,” meaning they will ask you to think about and then write your answer in the spaces provided. On those questions for which you might answer with a simple “Yes” or “No,” you are asked to either detail or explain your answer.

The Workbook can be used individually or as a group study. If used in a group setting, members could discuss only the “take away” question, which is the last one for each Workbook chapter.
- - - - -
"Precious Poems" God uses broken people, broken lives, and broken hearts. He takes those broken things and uses them to make something beautiful. That process is a journey, and these poems are about just such a journey. While we often can’t choose our circumstances, we can always choose our responses. For me, for today, I choose joy. You can too.

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"Is God disappointed in me for feeling sad?" - #atimeforeverypurpose, #bruisedreeds, #RitaMoritz

Ecclesiastes 3:4 “A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;”

This past week was the five-month anniversary of my son Buddy’s death. I probably don’t need to tell you it’s been a rough week. I spent the first few days feeling overwhelmed. I was sad, weepy, and just generally miserable. Losing my son has caused me the most desperate, overwhelming grief I’ve ever known in my life.

Even in my grieving, I usually try to focus on what I still have rather than on what I’ve lost. Trying to keep that focus is why I do a gratitude post every night. But there have been times since Buddy died when I felt like I was standing at the edge of a precipice over a bottomless chasm and feared I might fall off into the abyss of total despair. This past week was like that.

Although my circumstances haven’t changed, I’m feeling better today and asking myself why I was feeling so overwhelmed earlier in the week. The change in how I feel also brought to mind the question, “Is God disappointed in me when I’m sad?” If I know the Lord, shouldn’t I be cheerful and full of joy regardless of my circumstances?

Before I answer that, I want to stress I'm not saying you and I are justified in walking around lamenting our circumstances, wringing our hands and constantly complaining. Nor am I suggesting it’s ok to sing an endless rendition of “Gloom, Despair, and Agony on Me,” no matter how overwhelming our situation might be.

Having laid the foundation, I need to say some days just “suck swamp water!” I mean some days are just tough and, no matter how much you love the Lord, those days aren’t going to be five-star banner days. You lose your job, the biopsy is positive, you bury your soul mate or your child, your spouse walks away. Those things are heartrending enough without adding in the false concept that God is disappointed in you for being sad. And it is a false concept.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 tells us “there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven..." Verse four of the same chapter tells us there’s a time to cry and mourn as surely as there is a time to laugh and to rejoice. Life’s seasons come and go according to God’s plan, and our job is to accept where we are at any given time.

Buddy knew the Lord, so I know I’ll see him again. And because of that promise, I’m told I don’t need “to sorrow like others who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13). 

However, that verse doesn’t suggest I shouldn’t sorrow at all. When terrible things happen (and they will), of course we’re going to have sorrow.

I’m thankful I have a Savior who understands my tears and my broken heart and who wants me to be myself, whether I’m happy or sad. In Shade of His Hand, Oswald Chambers says, "When you are joyful, be joyful; when you are sad, be sad. If God has given you a sweet cup, don’t make it bitter; and if He has given you a bitter cup, don’t try and make it sweet; take things as they come."

Challenge for Today: What might happen if we, just for today, accepted we are sometimes going to be sad and determined to “take things as they come?”

(17-5-26)

"What can I do when I'm afraid?" - #theeverlastingarms, #theGodofhope, #RitaMoritz

Deuteronomy 33:27 “The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.”

Regardless of what you might be facing now or recovering from, fear is probably part of the “package deal.” Dictionary.com defines fear as: “a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined.” (Emphasis mine). Sometimes our fear IS based on the “what ifs” that never happen. However, some of those fears are justified, and we’d be silly to deny that. So, what can we do? Using REST as an acronym, take a look at the following suggestions.

R: Reach out for help. If you don’t have a supportive circle of friends, develop one. Many people, myself included, have found comfort in Alanon and other support groups and the relationships they developed there. Reach out to help others. There is great comfort and even joy in service…regardless of our circumstances. Remember you are not alone. Others have walked your path and survived and even thrived. You can too.

E: Employ the tools you have. Support groups, sharing, exercise, music, prayer, and reading uplifting books including, but not limited to the Bible. Some or all of these tools will improve your outlook even if your circumstances remain the same, They will also help you to respond rather than react to fear.

S: Set a specific time for worrying. Make a 30-minute appointment with yourself and designate that time to worry. Rail against your circumstances, cry, pray, rant or do whatever you want during that 30 minutes. However, when you’re done with that 30 minutes, you’re done worrying for the rest of the day. That other 23½ hours of the day belong to you. When fear taps you on the shoulder, remind yourself it belongs in the 30 minutes assigned to it and focus on something else. It may sound silly, but it works.

T: Take care of yourself. That means you eat when it’s time to eat, you go to bed at bedtime, you discipline yourself to get some exercise. It means you get your hair done, you get a shower and get dressed every day, you call a friend. You find a way to reach out to others and you work on your spirituality, whether through meditations each day, church attendance, listening to tapes or going to a support group. You find something to smile or laugh about each day. In other words, you do what you would be doing if you were not afraid and live your life one day at a time.

There are some days when I’m great at utilizing those suggestions, and there are some days that are more of a challenge. Those are the days when Harry tells me I must think my worry is very powerful since I do so much of it. And he’s right.

So, the last suggestion is for those days. I remind myself that my worry is not powerful to help anyone, but destructive to my hope. I also remind myself that, whatever it is I’m facing, “The eternal God is my refuge and underneath are the everlasting arms.” Then I try to give my fear to the One who can do something about it.

Challenge for Today: What if, just for today, we chose to take control of our fear instead of letting it control us?

(17-5-24)

"Realize from the beginning that you will not always understand." - #trustGodinthedark, #RitaMoritz

Isaiah 55:8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.”

I was that (probably extremely annoying) child who always wanted to understand the “why” of things. Why did I need to do an assignment when I already understood the concept? Why was washing baseboards part of spring cleaning? Why couldn’t I…? Well, you get the idea.

As an adult, I still want to know the “why” of things. What’s the motive behind someone’s actions? Why would someone be purposely unkind, even cruel? Why would a spouse walk out on a marriage or kids begin to act out in destructive ways? Why would a precious, faithful Christian, who loves the Lord, have one terrible thing after another happen in their life?

I seldom have answers to those questions, and I’ve had some losses that seemed to scream the question, “Why?” The greatest of those losses was when my oldest son Buddy had a heart attack on December 19, 2016. After fighting in ICU for three days, he died. I don’t ever say, “Buddy passed.” He didn’t take a test. He died. And I was faced with the most soul-wrenching grief I’ve ever experienced in my life.

It’s important to say here “recovery” doesn’t mean you “get over” something. There are some wounds that will not heal until we pass from this life into eternity. Losing my son is one of those. Your wounds may be equally as devastating. When we experience a hurt or a loss that terrible, sometimes the best you and I can do is to learn how to walk in a world that is forever changed. That too is recovery.

Choosing a path of recovery isn’t easy, but it becomes doable if we realize from the beginning that we won’t always understand. How could we? As I stood beside my son’s bed in ICU, my mind raced with questions for which there seemed to be no answers.

Why now, when my precious prodigal had “come home?” Why now when he was doing a living amends by investing in the lives of men in early recovery? Why now when there were still so many broken relationships that needed to be healed? Why now when he was only 49 years old? As I begged God to take me instead and to let my son recover, I also asked God why He took my son in the prime of his life when his children needed him.

As the doctors and nurses tried to gently share the brutal truth that Buddy was not going to recover, I asked if perhaps they were wrong. I saw the answer in their eyes and also their sure knowledge that I didn’t understand. And how could I? How could anyone understand the death of their child? That’s not the way it’s supposed to happen.

The realization I’ve come to is that I’m not ever going to understand, and that’s ok. If I’m going to learn to walk in a world that is forever changed, if I’m to have any hope at all, it’s going to happen by accepting I will not always understand. Isaiah 55:8 says God’s ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are not our thoughts, and as simplistic as that sounds, it’s the only thing that makes sense.

Am I still grieving? Of course, I am. I will grieve the loss of my precious son for the rest of my life. And my ability to see that loss as a part of my life rather than the whole depends on the day and sometimes on the minute. I can, however, find some small measure of peace in accepting that I can’t possibly understand the ways and thoughts of God. I can only trust that He knows what He’s doing…one day, one minute at a time.

Challenge for Today: What might happen if we, just for today, accepted that we will not always understand the things that happen in our lives?

(17-5-22)

"Determine from the beginning that you will not quit!" - #dontgiveup, #trustGodinthevalley, RitaMoritz

1 Corinthians 16:13 “Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.”

Before we begin to look at recovery together, it’s important to lay the foundation we’re going to build on. That foundation for me is that I will not quit, and it’s written in stone. Several years ago, I did exactly that…quit, I mean. And it took me places I don’t ever want to go again. I wrote about that journey in the chapter “Rita Came Home” in my book, So You Love a Prodigal. Believe me when I tell you quitting will also take you places you’ll wish you hadn’t gone.

It was a long way back from that “far country,” and I determined, by the grace of God, I would never give up or quit on God again regardless of what happened in my life. That resolve was put to the ultimate test on December 19, 2016, when I received a phone call telling me my oldest son Buddy had suffered a heart attack and was in ICU on life support.

I only thought I knew what it meant to pray fervently before that day. However, it took on a new meaning as I begged God for my son’s life in a way I had never prayed for anything before. And when I knew God’s answer was, “No,” and my son was going to die, I began to pray with the same fervency that God would only help me to be faithful. I had quit once before and walked away from the Lord, and my greatest fear was I might walk away again. In that moment, like Job, I determined in my heart that, “though he slay me, yet will I hope in him.” (Job 13:15)

It doesn’t mean my heart wasn’t broken. It was, and it still is. Losing a child isn’t something you “get over.” I’m learning the best I can do is try to adjust to a world that is forever changed. I don’t understand it…how could I? However, faced with the choice of trusting my God in the dark or raging against my fate, I will choose to trust Him.

Recovery means finding our way back to a “normal” state. And that includes both physically and mentally. Some synonyms include “reclaim,” “win back,” and “compensate.” Many of those words suggest action, and we’ll be looking at some actions we can take on our own road to recovery. But it has to start with the right foundation.

You see, the bottom line is that God is either everything or He is nothing…there’s no in between. If He’s nothing, we might as well quit because there’s no hope for us. But if He’s everything, then we can trust Him even when we don’t like the answer, and everything within us is screaming, “This can’t possibly be God’s will.” Even then…maybe especially then, we need to have a heart that trusts Him enough to determine that we will not quit.

Challenge for Today: What might happen if we, just for today, began our recovery on the firm foundation of refusing to quit?

(17-5-19)

"What is recovery and why might I need it?" - #chooserecovery, #hardjourney, #RitaMoritz

“…the journey is too much for you.” 1 Kings 19:7

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we lived in a perfect world with perfect parents, happy childhoods, full bank accounts, good health, and ideal marriages? You may remember the days when family programs like “Father Knows Best” or “Leave it to Beaver” presented a problem in the first five minutes of the show, but Mom and Dad managed to resolve it and bring it to the perfect conclusion in 30 minutes. Of course, that isn’t the reality, is it?

We live in a broken world, and if that world didn’t beat you up when you were a child, it nails you when you’re an adult. And if it hasn’t yet, it will because pain and sorrow come to all of us in one way or another. Job said it well in Job 14:1, “Man that is born of a woman is of few days and full of trouble.” That “trouble” might be childhood trauma, a broken marriage, a prodigal child, the loss of a job or career, a chronic or terminal illness or the death of someone we love.

God says over and over again, “Go and I am with you…,” and I could list scores of times when God told His people to go and do something and He would be with them. Example: In Joshua 1, God told Joshua to go into the Promised Land. He told Joshua not to be afraid because God was going to be with him. Again and again, God made that promise to His children.

But what about those other times, when you’re in the wilderness like Elijah was in 1 Kings 19? When the trouble is so overwhelming, you don’t what to do? When it really IS a tragedy?

• And it IS a tragedy if you were abused, unloved, or abandoned as a child.
• It IS a tragedy when your marriage dies.
• It IS a tragedy when you get that terrible diagnosis.
• It IS a tragedy when you’re trapped in an addiction or love someone who is.
• It IS a tragedy when people you love have broken your heart.
• It IS a tragedy when you have a prodigal child.
• It IS a tragedy when someone you love dies.  

At times like those, I don’t need trite sayings like, “Our disappointments are God’s appointments” or even “God’s going to use this for your good and His glory.” Both those things may be true, but when tragedy strikes, those words aren’t helpful.

Troubles are going to come, and there will be times when, like Elijah, the “journey is too much for us.” When we’re wounded and damaged and weary physically, emotionally and even spiritually, it isn’t platitudes we need. It’s recovery.

As we look at what recovery means over the next few weeks, my prayer is you will be gentle with yourself, realizing you’re doing the best you can right now and recovery takes time and effort.

Challenge for Today: What might happen if we, just for today, took a new look at the word recovery and how it might apply to us?

(17-5-17)

"A Way in the Wilderness:" #GodWillMakeAWay, #GodsPlan, #RitaMoritz

Isaiah 43:19 “I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.”

Life is hard. And it isn’t just hard for you and me. It’s hard for everyone. You probably don’t need that reminder since this is the Monday after Mother’s Day. It’s also the “first” of many “firsts” for me this year since I buried my oldest son two days after Christmas. I wasn’t the only person who was grieving yesterday. There were women who are unable to conceive a child, women who have miscarried, women who have a prodigal or a broken relationship with their child. There were also many who have lost their mother and some who never had one at all. And, for many, childhood trauma still haunts them.

But it doesn’t have to be about parenting and/or kids, does it? As I’m writing this, several friends come to mind. One man is learning how to walk again with a prosthetic leg, and all he wants is to be well enough to get a job so he can support his family. Another is battling cancer, and the outcome is uncertain. Yet another is still stunned by her husband’s walking away from her and the kids.

The list could go on, but I’m pretty sure you get the idea. All of us are battling something, and that something is our own personal wilderness. I may not know about your specific hurts today, but I know a lot about my own and about walking a long, lonely path through the wilderness. That brings me to the purpose of this blog and the five core beliefs that will be the underlying theme of every blog post.

 • God will not take us where He has not gone before us, and He will be with us every step of the way (Deuteronomy 31:8).

 • God is a personal God, and His purpose is going to be and is being fulfilled in our lives whether we understand the process or not (Jeremiah 1:5).

 • God’s plan for us is that we will enjoy our life in the days He has given us because that is our "portion under the sun" (Ecclesiastes 9:9).

 • God’s plan is to give us hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).

 • Our present situation is only one chapter in our story. God isn’t finished with us, so our story isn’t finished yet. Because of that, we cannot quit (Galatians 6:9).

I don’t want you to think I have this perfect faith or that I’m not struggling with the death of my son. I’m in the middle of my own wilderness and not yet…perhaps never… will I understand the purpose in losing my son. But I’m willing to cling to God’s promises and to find hope from His word. Will you join me on this journey of hope through your own wilderness?

Challenge for Today: What might happen if we, just for today, chose to believe God is going to make a way in the wilderness?

(17-5-15)

"Purchase of Copyright for So You Love a Prodigal graphic."

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 Here is the copyright info if you post it on a blog or stationary spot. Copyright:  14205993.jpg.

(16-11-18)